Dear Rotten, Horrible Boss;
This is a letter dedicated to you right now and for all the horrible bosses I’ve ever had in my life. I am glad that you came along because I am learning compassion for the truly horrid, evil people living in this world that have a four letter word in their title, like yourself. Thanks for making life a living hell and thanks for teaching me the art of patience, grace and the fact that I am better than you because I don’t fall to the floor kicking my heels in a temper tantrum when I don’t get my way…but, of course, you are the boss and I just the peon (…LOL)
Thank you for denying vacation and doctor’s appointments at every turn while taking ample time off for yourself including all holidays while you threaten your staff with having to pull names on holidays when it used to be voluntary, berate staff for being a few minutes late when you come in over 45 minutes late, play favorites and try to divide staff with fault-finding and blaming, calling in your staff to work when they are sick, blame everyone but yourself for all your messes, micromanage the to the very drop and step all over others in charge, treat your staff like second-graders, scold your staff like first-graders, parade around blabbering about how great you are, speak loudly regarding confidential employee matters so everyone can hear, forget to turn in vital important paperwork yet expect us to give you both a verbal AND written report on mundane matters, withhold advancement opportunities, piss off clients and blame it on your staff, post derogatory “quotes of the day” on the wall pretending to disguise it as team spirit, screw up our schedule and make people mad at us, undo everything you’ve trusted your staff to do thinking you know better, change everyone’s work time and work days just to wield a power trip, hang up on us on the phone, expect us to give “reports” during off-hours, create rules which no one has ever heard of in the history of the company, threaten to write everyone up for every little thing…and this is just an appetizer. Thank you, for filling me up with crap. I just cant get enough crap.
To the Bosses of Evils Past; thank you for turning my gut into steel with all your sexual harassment, favoritism, workplace mobbing and humiliation. You have prepared me well for this current Boss of Evil Present. You taught me well and taught me to shut up and not say a damned thing, even if the boss is totally wrong and delusional. Thank you for teaching me that even though I don’t agree with you, I have the wisdom to not tell you to go F*** yourself.
In closing, I’d like to say another “thank you” to the year 2012. Although I’ve been a negative person all my life, I am seeing the positives in every F-ing situation. And if you tell me “at least you have a job”, I’ll just say “you are right, now shut the hell up”.
Thank you, thank you so much all you Evil Bosses of Work Past and Work Present. I don’t know what you are preparing me for, but I guess I am grateful that I am getting a paycheck and have to pretend to laugh when you crack a funny joke or else get extra work the next day if I don’t laugh.