1.24.12 Day 3- I’m Still Standing

Hmmm three whole days later and I havent keeled over and died or have a panic attack since deleting Facebook. I am surprised. Maybe its a rebound thing where it will seize me a week and a half later and I’ll be reduced to a crying, heaping pile on the floor…I’m not making fun of my friends I’ve left behind but rather my reaction to it. I thought I would die but I am doing O.K. (does anyone know what the acronym OK stands for?…I am too lazy to google it)

Spent lots of time with son, holding him, teaching him the continents, showing him a video of a real life Tasmanian Devil (yesterday it was a Narwhal). It was a lot of fun…strangely enough, I am more relaxed, how can that be when Facebook *was* my relaxation?

I am also less teary. I normally cry at every sad news I hear and ponder on it for days on end, especially when it involves children. I am so hyper-sensitive that images last for days on end and I cry and cry. Tonight I read a really sad story and I felt very sad and heartbroken for the parents of murdered children but for some reason I am not crying my eyes out…not because I am no longer caring but maybe because I am no longer filling my void with internet pursuits and being sad over things that have happened that I cannot change. I now elect to spend as much time as I can with our growing son with laughter, hugs and attention that I didn’t give to him when I was obsessed with my internet gaming and Facebook time. I have a choice on how I spend my time and now I am finally feeling in control of my emotions and how I choose to express it. I don’t feel like such a slave to my emotions anymore and it’s even showing up in non-internet related avenues; I am surprising myself.

I’ve been cooking every single day since quitting also: Lemon bars, Chili from scratch, vegetable soup with seven different veggies and mushrooms, tofu stir fry, egg sandwiches…maybe I’ll get fat from cooking and not because I’m plastered in front of the computer.

Very interesting, how this is all panning out. I thought it would be the end of my sanity when I gave up FB when in reality is only the beginning of it! Really odd, how things turn out. Quitting Facebook and online gaming is really manifesting itself in strange but good ways unimaginable until now.

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